In twenty years of friendship you build a lot of rituals. Then your best friend dies and all these rituals haunt you. You see pictures of gay pride, and you know this will be the first year your friend won't comment on them. Your birthday is around the corner, and you won't have to comfort her for hers.
There is not a single day that something doesn't remind you of her. Something that doesn't make you shed a tear.
Calcutta is where we spend most of our time together. We got dressed in my room thousands of times, and I dreaded going to Calcutta without her.
I missed you Debooh. I avoided most places that had strong memories of us, but you can get away from the places but not from the sorrow. I went to see your mom and I dreaded going. I feel so gauche being alive in front of your mother. It was good to see mashi, her sorrow made mine seem much more bearable. I wish I had more time to spend with her.
The wedding made me miss you, the last wedding I went to in Calcutta was yours. I got my hair done at June Tomkyns, and I shed a tear as I looked at the room where you had your bridal hair and make-up done. I remembered the time you and I went there for Arun's wedding, so many years ago.
When I posted the pictures this morning, I couldn't believe that you wouldn't see them or comment on them.
I miss you and mourn your loss in so many ways.
My dad isn't doing too well. I remember our conversation from when we were 18, where we agreed that if my dad was ever unwell, you would come and stay with me.
Twenty years of rituals and spoken and unspoken understandings, and everyone of them causes me to much pain. I love you and miss you and wish you were still living.
There is not a single day that something doesn't remind you of her. Something that doesn't make you shed a tear.
Calcutta is where we spend most of our time together. We got dressed in my room thousands of times, and I dreaded going to Calcutta without her.
I missed you Debooh. I avoided most places that had strong memories of us, but you can get away from the places but not from the sorrow. I went to see your mom and I dreaded going. I feel so gauche being alive in front of your mother. It was good to see mashi, her sorrow made mine seem much more bearable. I wish I had more time to spend with her.
The wedding made me miss you, the last wedding I went to in Calcutta was yours. I got my hair done at June Tomkyns, and I shed a tear as I looked at the room where you had your bridal hair and make-up done. I remembered the time you and I went there for Arun's wedding, so many years ago.
When I posted the pictures this morning, I couldn't believe that you wouldn't see them or comment on them.
I miss you and mourn your loss in so many ways.
My dad isn't doing too well. I remember our conversation from when we were 18, where we agreed that if my dad was ever unwell, you would come and stay with me.
Twenty years of rituals and spoken and unspoken understandings, and everyone of them causes me to much pain. I love you and miss you and wish you were still living.
