Life has a way of happening to you even if you don't want it to. I was thinking of my birthday this year and how for every other year, you panicked about your birthday. Since I had a three month head start I would assure you that whatever age you were going to be, is not that bad. When I turned 25, I assured you that 25 is really not that old, preparing you for you 25th. I figured this pattern would go on till I turned 80 one August, and told you that indeed 80 is not that different from 79.
This year, I won't be able to tell you this. I will turn a year older and won't be able to prepare you for your birthday in November. I am already dreading my birthday. The thought of it makes me tear and want to vomit at the same time. I'm dreading yours too.
I have an aunt, who stopped celebrating her birthday, after losing her brothers. Till I lost you, I didn't get understand why one would do that. Now it makes sense. When you lose someone so dear, you don't want to be reminded ever year, that this is another birthday they won't have.
Life has this dreadfully way of moving on, even if you are not ready to. I am not ready to get a year older, without assurance that you will as well.Yet I know that it will, and it makes me sad and angry and bitter.
This year, I won't be able to tell you this. I will turn a year older and won't be able to prepare you for your birthday in November. I am already dreading my birthday. The thought of it makes me tear and want to vomit at the same time. I'm dreading yours too.
I have an aunt, who stopped celebrating her birthday, after losing her brothers. Till I lost you, I didn't get understand why one would do that. Now it makes sense. When you lose someone so dear, you don't want to be reminded ever year, that this is another birthday they won't have.
Life has this dreadfully way of moving on, even if you are not ready to. I am not ready to get a year older, without assurance that you will as well.Yet I know that it will, and it makes me sad and angry and bitter.
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